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A Cryptic Christmas Package

January 4, 2012 at 10:31 am

So, during the Christmas holiday I discovered that THEY (you know, them— the secret masters of the world) apparently read my blog.  And they approve of my many interests and love for unresolved mysteries.

There I was on Christmas morning, sitting by the tree, the floor strewn with ribbons and bows and shredded wrapping paper.  Everything had been opened, all the gifts accounted for.  Except… there, under the tree, where it hadn't been the night before, sat a manilla envelope.  The envelope itself was blank but for a single name printed on the front:


The envelope contained this book:

A sideways photo of Electro-Gravitics Systems, Volume 1, by Thomas Valone

(Yeah, I know the photo is sideways.  I forgot to rotate the image before uploading it.  Tough; deal with it.)

It's a copy of Electro-Gravitics Systems, Volume 1, by Thomas Valone.  The term "electrogravitics" and the name Valone turn up frequently in contemporary circles where people discuss T. Townsend Brown, antigravity, and seekrit Air Force UFO research.  Clearly, my blog post on The Hunt for Zero Point reached the ears of a shadowy cabal!  Why do I say that?

Because the book itself contained this cryptic note:

A cryptic communique between shadowy figures.

That's the actual note.  Here's what it says:

Dan --

Tregillis checks out w/the usual people.  And some not so usual - 'Quinn' said that he "Thinks clearly, but sometimes crooked."  Sounds like the kind of approach we need.

Give him the public domain version of the Valone book.  If it sets a hook, you are cleared to show him the Schueler file.  Let's see what he makes of that.

His clearances are in good shape, but before he gets any deeper you should remind him just how sensitive this area of research is.  And that we can always call a Code 13 on him.


(I'm fairly certain that Code 13 means, "Feed the subject many delicous pastries, and also cookies."  Oh, boy, cookies!  That's not to be confused with a Code 14, which is very similar to a Code 13, except "cookies" is replaced with "deadly poison". I think that's right.  I sometimes get them confused. 

Man, I really hope it's cookies and not poison.)

Finally!  After all these years of searching and prying, I've finally received The Nod from the Illuminati.  From here on out it's nothing but Fat City for me.  I'll probably have to take some vacation days from work this year in order to attend the new recruit training week in Atlantis Atlanta. 

But it will be worth it.  Oh, yes.  Because when our alien/reptiloid/time traveler overlords return from outer space/the hollow earth/the deep future to rule over humanity with an iron appendage/scaly claw/robot hand, I'll be hovering above the fray in my antigravity saucer.


Andrew January 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm
The best present in the world are Sekrits... Or Happiness. I get confused cuz code 13 has rotted out my brain. Dang cookies. Have you read Robert Anton Wilson's Illuminati trilogy? highly enjoyable books as is most of his fiction and not so fiction books. Warning he was partnered up with Timothy Leary for a while:) PS: I missed your posts and was beginning to worry about you.
Steve Halter January 4, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Illuminati Secret package of goodness Under Christmas tree
Ian January 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Hey Andrew-- I have indeed read Wilson's Illuminati trilogy. That was quite a long time ago, though, and I don't remember them particularly well. I was a big fan of the Steve Jackson games "Illuminati" game, though. :-) Sorry that my blog posting went on hiatus yet again. I was doing so well through most of 2011, but the holidays and other stuff at the end of the year made for too much stuff on my plate. I hope to do a little better now. We'll see...
Ian January 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm
They put a chip in, Illuminati bastards: Assassin-drone mode.
Bruce @Online Printing Services January 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm
The Nod from the Illuminati is wonderful! How I wish I could have it this year. :)
Ian January 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm
I know, right? It's been my life goal pretty much ever since I first learned of the Illuminati. All I can say is, persistence pays off! You could get The Nod, too.
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