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Choose Your Own Incredibly Boring Adventure

March 5, 2011 at 10:08 pm

It occurred to me today, while doing my 2010 taxes, that filling out income tax forms is quite a bit like a labyrinthine and depressing Choose Your Own Adventure game for adults.  (Or maybe Lose Your Own Adventure is more apt.)

If you choose to try sneaking past the Audit Dragon, fill out form 1040-Schedule X.  If you choose to wield the Wand of Deferred Tax Credits For First Time Home Owners Who Are Also World War I Veterans, fill out form 1040-6652N…

If you choose to itemize your deductions, fill out form 1040-Schedule A.  If you choose to take the standard deduction, proceed to line 34.

If you choose to claim your primary residence aboard a hospital ship floating in the Bay of Bengal and which is registered in the Netherlands, fill out form 1040-0093123-a.  If you choose to claim your primary residence aboard a hospital ship floating in the Bay of Bengal and which is registered in Honduras, fill out form 23.

If you are 26 years of age or older with two dependents one of whom has an irrational fear of greasepaint and cotton candy, fill out form 1040-Schedule CLWN.  If you are claimed as a dependent by somebody with a glass eye, fill out form 1040-Schedule GGM.

1040-Schedule X

The dragon wakes up.  It eats you.  Go back to page 1 and try again!

1040-6652N

The dragon wakes up.  It eats you.  Go back to page 1 and try again!

1040-Schedule A

The dragon wakes up.  It eats you.  Go back to page 1 and try again!

Line 34

The dragon wakes up.  It eats you.  Go back to page 1 and try again!

1040-00931230-a

The dragon wakes up, but before it can eat you, a kraken grabs your ship and drags it to the bottom of the sea.  Go back to page 1 and try again!

23

The dragon wakes up.  It eats you.  Go back to page 1 and try again!

1040-Schedule CLWN

A clown beats you senseless with a seltzer bottle.  Also, you owe $360 in back taxes.

1040-Schedule GGM

Glass eye polishing fluid is not an allowable deduction.  Go back to page 1 and try again!

 

Comments

Susan March 6, 2011 at 11:27 am
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It would seem I am eaten pretty much no matter what. That sounds about right... But I also get to be eaten in Germany by the German Tax Dragon. I'm not sure how they plan to divvy me up. GO BACK TO PAGE 1!
Kristie March 18, 2011 at 1:03 pm
My tax preparer is going to get a kick out of this when I include a copy with the rest of my tax documents. I've always done my taxes in the past, but when I had to deal with house/mortgage stuff last year, I decided it was time to let go of something I wasn't very good at anyway. I commend you for sticking with it!
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