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Introducing the Portable Letterpress

October 14, 2009 at 10:10 am

It is a sad truth that even the most well-meaning adventurers often skimp, during the preparatory phases of an expedition, on the issue of written correspondence.  And who can blame them?  Who wants to pack an entire printing press and a flock of pigeons when that precious cargo space could be devoted to one's blunderbuss, several kegs of black powder, a treasure map, and various  tomes of forgotten lore?  Nobody, ladies and gentlemen.  Nobody.

And what a pity-- so many details of the adventuring life have been lost to the ages. What goods must one never offer for barter to the one-eyed witch priests of Zanzibar?  What music will soothe the savage bloodlust of the legendary Yeti?  Does Charon accept multi-zone bus transfers?  The loss of such knowledge is a tragedy.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why today I am pleased to unveil the Portable Letterpress.

The Letterpress utilizes the electroplasmonic aether to deliver postcards via the Beyond.  It weighs less than a single set of cast metal type, and packs into a space far smaller than a pigeon cage.  The wonders of science!

Use the Portable Letterpress to keep loved ones, attorneys, admirers, literary executors, and newspaper editors apprised of your latest adventures.  Whether hiding from an enraged Chupacabra, or shipwrecked on the shores of newly-risen R'lyeh, you'll never again be incommunicado.



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