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Shape-Changing Illuminati Lizards

June 4, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Oh, I do love some crazy wacky conspiracy theories.  The crazier the better.

And they don't come any crazier than "the world is secretly controlled by shape-changing lizards from inside the hollow earth".

Oh, sure it sounds insane.... Or, is it so sane that your head is spinning like a top?!?

Just consider the evidence:  "The Illuminati cover up their reptilian nature with a human disguise."

You better believe they do.  Our secret masters are totally putting on the human suits.  All the time.

Comments

Adrienne June 4, 2011 at 11:17 pm
My head is spinning like a top! (Maybe my human suit is malfunctioning.)
Scott Denning June 5, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Way back when, at the bookstore, I was the guy in charge of keeping David Icke's books stocked up. People who came in asking for those books always scrutinized my face very carefully. I thought they were just intense. Then I realized they were checking for reptilian slit pupils. I sold a lot of Icke's books. But those contact lenses were always uncomfortable to wear.
Tengland June 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm
We find your lack of res-s-s-spect and s-s-s-s-s-snarky attitude dis-s-s-s-sturbing. We will be keeping a s-s-s-s-slitted eye on you. H-s-s-s-s-s.
Richard June 5, 2011 at 9:11 pm
The thing is, they can't hide their eyeballs and that's what gives them away on TV. That's not some MPEG artifact of low-quality video compression, no sir. It started as a conspiracy hypothesis, but with more evidence it's become a bona fide conspiracy theory. And now it's only one or two more Youtube videos from snowballing into a conspiracy law.
Steve Halter June 6, 2011 at 1:31 pm
I think this points us to another internet rule: 53. There is a conspiracy about it, no exceptions.
Ian June 7, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Adrienne-- if you need any work done, I know a guy. I mean, a human. Not an lizard. I know a human who works on those things. Scott-- I'm actually kind of jealous. I've never met an Icke adherent in the flesh! I'd have guessed they're all a little intense, all the time. Terry-- When you return to your subterranean lair, be sure to say Hi to the lavamen for me... Richard-- It's true that Isaac Newton first published the Principia Mathematica as a series of viral videos on YouTube. Steve-- If there wasn't a conspiracy about something, that would suggest a conspiracy to cover up the conspiracy.
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