Friday, August 27 2010, 03:35 PM Thursday, August 19 2010, 11:17 AM Sunday, August 15 2010, 03:58 PM Thursday, August 12 2010, 10:06 AM Wednesday, August 11 2010, 10:49 PM Tuesday, July 27 2010, 11:07 AM Friday, July 16 2010, 04:38 PM Tuesday, July 13 2010, 09:29 PM Saturday, July 10 2010, 06:32 PM Wednesday, July 7 2010, 10:53 PM
Blog Archive
Bitter Seeds Audiobook & A Pop-Cultural Interview - 8/27/2010, 03:35 PM Remarks Delivered at the 34th Annual Williamson Lectureship - 8/19/2010, 11:17 AM Research Materials - 8/15/2010, 03:58 PM Interview at Pat's Fantasy Hotlist - 8/12/2010, 10:06 AM Thank You, Alice Ann, Wherever You Are - 8/11/2010, 10:49 PM The Perils of Fantasy Alternate History - 7/27/2010, 11:07 AM The End - 7/16/2010, 04:38 PM The Joy of a Weight Lifted - 7/13/2010, 09:29 PM New Story Appearing in AFTER HOURS: TALES FROM THE UR-BAR - 7/10/2010, 06:32 PM Further Proof We Live in the Slow Zone - 7/7/2010, 10:53 PM
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Certain -- ahem -- uncharitable souls have concluded that because I love clocks as much as I do, I have become a quisling to the human race. They look askance at me while I wait, patiently, for our clockwork servants to cast off their shackles, rise up, and become our masters.
"Oh, Ian," they cry, "why do you yearn for that day when our steam-powered automata go berserk with the lust for freedom? And why must you labor to hasten its coming?"
Because, madam: the clockwork apocalypse will be beautiful.
Yes, that's right. That's a clockwork creature in the throes of birth from a mechanical womb.
Look on this and weep, my fellow humans. We are no longer the apex of creation. How smug we were, secure in the knowledge that wet biology achieved things no set of gears could replicate. "Our clockwork servants will never overwhelm us," we thought. "After all, they cannot breed."
Please have mercy, Mr. Calliope.
Four things, ladies and gentlemen. Four things for your consideration while you quiver in terror, waiting for thug squads of brass-plated henchmen to drag you from your homes:
1) I submit that Molly Porkshanks is the best name EVER.
2) Amongst Ms. Porkshanks's many wonderful works is this amberic violin.
3) Said violin frequently takes the stage with Abney Park, a collection of chronologically-displaced musicians. I've been listening to their work quite a bit of late, on my steam-powered iPod.
4) This Halloween, Abney Park will be performing a concert aboard a zeppelin. That may be the greatest idea since the invention of the octopus.
Close PermalinkOver at www.nobrowcartoons.com there's a steam-powered clockwork idea generator.
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Holy macaroni. I remember you telling me about getting contacted about doing some cool work for a cartoonists' website, but I don't remembwer you telling me about Paul DiFilippo writing about your panoptical endeavours. Holy macaroni, twice.
Do you have your own steam powered arachnid death machine yet?
Not yet. But believe me, sir, when I tell you that I'm working toward that goal with every moment I can spare.
