Today, in her lunchtime address as the Mistress of Ceremonies at the 35th Annual Jack Williamson Lectureship, Connie Willis referred to me as “leadfoot” (without good cause, I should add).
People in the audience thought she had said “webfoot”.
So now it is generally believed that I am descended from the fish people of Innsmouth.
This is what happens when somebody as powerful as Connie Willis uses her tremendous clout in the service of evil instead of good.
Let this be a lesson to us all.
Well, if you have to pick, there are certainly lots of worse things to be descended from in the Lovecraft mythos. 😉 At least she didn’t make a comment about tentacles. (;,;)
Truly a terrifying turn of events. Just to be clear, you’ve never been anywhere near Innsmouth. Right? I’m a little disconcerted because the security word underneath this is Cthulu. Coincidences are beginning to pile up.
I always thought there was something … tentacly … about you.
I snorted my drink in a painful way when I read that, so you know.
At last your secret is revealed.
Steve– it’s true, at least in Connie’s eyes I’m *half* human. It could be worse. (Cool emoticon, btw.)
Adam– I have never been to Innsmouth, or anywhere on the New England coast outside of Boston. Coincidences, though? I’m not so sure…
Terry– you’re just jealous of my squamous and rugose good looks.
Brit– Was it orange juice? I find that orange juice burns the worst when it gets into my sinuses. Not that this happens to me a lot.
Vic– I figure you were on to me all along.
Well, let’s see here. Lead is an extremely stable heavy metal, with a half-life longer than the Universe itself. Not bad. But it is also the decadent result of more active elements. Which more-than-implies that lead has Had Its Day. Though we must consider: lead is toxic to mammals, and contamination causes nervous disorders and madness. Hmmm….
Better by far perhaps to refer to you as “uraniumfoot”, or perhaps “thoriumfoot”. That is at least a more active image, and you have the fun of irradiating people rather than just weighting them down. And wouldn’t we all like to irradiate people, now and again? (Oh, I forgot — you shouldn’t talk about your work.)
That would explain the glow I perceive around you sometimes. And your scintillating conversation. And that embarrassing incident with the port-of-entry security detectors.
BTW, as the last living representative of the great peoples of the Webfoot Tribe of Native Americans (1/256th blood), I must inform you that you will be hearing from the tribe’s lawyers for making libelous negative associations with our tribe’s noble name.
I wish I had been able to attend the luncheon, but as I had already skipped two classes for the Q&A prior to it and had a test in Trig afterwards. I thought I better go to at least one class that day. I also enjoyed your reading Thursday.
In The Myriad by R. M. Melluch (a totally awesome space opera, btw) there is a crucial plot element involving
(spoiler warning because I try not to be a hypocrite)
an inscription on a lead tablet. A very old lead tablet. So old, in fact, the original inscription wasn’t on a lead tablet.
That said, I rather like the sound of Ian Poloniumfoot Tregillis.
No worries! I’d rather not be responsible for mass skipping of classes. And trig tests are important (if not particularly fun). Actually I was just lamenting to a friend of mine that I wish I’d relaxed and loosened up a little more when I was in school. So there ya go.
I hope the Q&A was helpful! And thank you for coming to the reading. I’m very glad to hear you enjoyed it.
You show your usual wisdom, Sir.
For was it not Polonium, that good old man, who did utter that most useful advice:
“Neither a borrower of neutrons nor a lender be — to thine own isotope be true.”