A few days ago, io9 introduced me to my new favorite conspiracy theory: the Phantom Time Hypothesis.
I find crackpot theories endlessly entertaining, especially ones that touch on fringe science and/or fringe scholarship. And this takes the cake.
What is Phantom Time?
I could tell you, but be warned: once you know the truth, there’s no going back. That’s right– you can keep living your life, believing everything you think you know about the world. . . or you can join me through the looking glass.
You’re staring down both barrels of the truth gun here. I’m just saying.
Still there? Okay. Open your mind, and consider this:
Three hundred years of human history — roughly 600 to 900 AD — never happened.
Sure, the individual events happened, but not during those years, because historians and other scholars — the vast army of shills working for Big History — have perpetuated a fraud to make us think the record of human history is centuries longer than it really is.
Why? Because the man wants you to think the year is 2011. But it’s actually 1714.
WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
Classic misdirection. They would have you believe that 300 years were added when of course, 300 years were subtracted and we’re actually in 2319. They deleted the glory years of the flying car.
😉
But that’s just preposterous! Adding years? Insanity, I tell you. It’s Phantom Time, all the way.
Although your theory does explain what happened to our flying cars…
Perhaps — and as I say this I feel the cold tingle of revelation upon me — they added some years and subtracted others.
It’s the only thing that makes sense. In fact, now that I see the world in this light… everything makes sense. I might have stumbled to close to the truth. The consequences will be dire.
Tell my story.
I fear it is only a matter of time before my mother calls to tell me about these calendar conspirators. Thanks for the heads up.
No need to thank me. I enjoy helping people. It’s what I do; it’s who I am.
I think you may have stumbled on to the truth. Adding time here, subtracting it there. They take away flying cars and give us the dark ages.
Luckily, for you, I assume the hold of GRRM’s pirate steamer is difficult to penetrate.
They take away flying cars and give us the dark ages.
That might be the most profound thing ever said on this blog.
For me, phantom time has always been the realization that I know how many years I have supposedly been here on this planet but that I can’t recall/account for all of them…. maybe I’m not really as old as they keep saying??